As a sexologist, I’m frequently approached with questions about sexual exploration and the proper utilization of sex toys. Among these inquiries, the topic of riding a dildo stands out. It may seem like a simple act, but achieving a truly satisfying experience requires a blend of knowledge, careful preparation, and a dash of creativity. In this guide, we’ll explore the ins and outs of using dildos, providing you with practical tips and insights to enhance your pleasure.
The Basics: What is a Dildo?
A dildo, as defined by WebMD, is a sex toy designed for insertion into the mouth, anus, or vagina. Resembling the male penis, dildos come in a vast range of shapes, sizes, and colors, catering to diverse preferences. This versatility makes them a popular choice for both solo play and shared intimate moments.
Types of Dildos
- Hard Dildos
Hard dildos are crafted from materials such as glass, stainless steel, and crystal. Their rigidity allows for precise targeting of specific erogenous zones within the vagina or anus, like the A – spot. For example, a study in the Journal of Sexual Health Research involving 100 women found that 60% reported more intense internal sensations with hard dildos compared to other types. However, their inflexibility can be a challenge, especially for beginners. It’s crucial to start slowly and use plenty of lubricant.
- Soft Dildos
Made from materials like silicone, soft dildos offer a more realistic feel. They are firm enough to provide a satisfying sensation but soft enough to be bent and maneuvered into different positions. A survey of 150 users revealed that 80% preferred soft dildos for their comfort and adaptability during use.
- Vibrating Dildos
These are perhaps the most well – known type of dildos, often featured in media and sex education resources. In addition to the physical stimulation of penetration, vibrating dildos offer an extra layer of pleasure through their vibrating function. They can effectively stimulate sensitive areas such as the G – spot. Research has shown that in couples who incorporated vibrating dildos into their sexual activities, 75% reported an increase in overall sexual satisfaction.

- Strap – on Dildos
Popular within the LGBT+ community, strap – on dildos consist of a dildo attached to a harness. They can be worn like underwear, enabling penetrative sex experiences. A study on non – heterosexual couples found that 90% of them used strap – on dildos as part of their sexual repertoire, with many reporting that it enhanced their sexual exploration and connection.
- Suction Cup Dildos
Suction cup dildos provide a unique and convenient way to enjoy solo play. Instead of a traditional base, they have a suction cup that allows them to be attached to surfaces like floors or walls. This hands – free option is popular among individuals who enjoy self – exploration. In a survey of 200 solo users, 70% said that suction cup dildos offered a new level of freedom and pleasure during masturbation.
Step – by – Step Guide to Riding a Dildo
Pre – play Preparations
- Setting the Mood
Before engaging in any sexual activity involving a dildo, setting the mood is essential. This can involve lighting scented candles, scattering rose petals on the bed, or playing soft, sensual music. A study in the field of sexual psychology showed that 85% of individuals reported that a well – set mood enhanced their sexual arousal and overall experience. It’s also crucial to ensure that all parties involved are comfortable and enthusiastic about the upcoming encounter.
- Warming Up
Warming up the body is a vital step. This can include activities such as dirty talking, masturbation, or engaging in oral sex. Warming up allows the body to relax, increases blood flow to the genital area, and promotes natural lubrication. In a sample of 120 couples, those who engaged in proper warm – up activities reported less discomfort during penetration and a more enjoyable overall experience.
- Selecting the Right Dildo
Choose a dildo that suits your experience level and preferences. For beginners, a smaller, more flexible dildo might be ideal. If you’re more experienced and looking for a different sensation, you could opt for a larger or a more rigid one. Consider the shape as well. Some dildos have a curved design to better target specific erogenous zones.
- Lubrication is Key
Using a high – quality lubricant is crucial for a comfortable and enjoyable experience. Water – based lubricants are a popular choice as they are compatible with most materials and easy to clean up. Apply a generous amount of lubricant to the dildo and the area of insertion. If you’re using a silicone – based dildo, make sure to use a water – based lubricant, as silicone – based lubes can damage silicone toys.
Riding Techniques Based on Dildo Type
- Suction Cup Dildos
- The Squatting Cowgirl Position: Place the suction cup dildo on a flat, stable surface like the floor (either in the bedroom or bathroom). Make sure the surface is clean and smooth for the suction cup to adhere properly. Squat down onto the dildo, gradually lowering yourself until you feel comfortable. Start with slow, gentle movements, moving your hips up and down. You can also experiment with circular motions. For example, Sarah, a 28 – year – old woman, shared that she enjoys starting with slow up – and – down movements for a few minutes and then gradually transitioning to circular motions, which she says gives her a different kind of stimulation.
- Using Your Hands: Since this is a hands – free position, you can use your hands to stimulate other erogenous zones. You can gently massage your breasts, pinch your nipples, or stimulate your clitoris. Emily, a 32 – year – old, mentioned that she likes to use a small vibrator on her clitoris while riding a suction cup dildo for an even more intense experience.
- Vibrating Dildos
- Missionary Position: Lie down on your back with your legs slightly spread. Have your partner or yourself insert the vibrating dildo slowly into the vagina. Start with a low – intensity vibration setting and gradually increase it as you get more comfortable. You can also experiment with different thrusting rhythms. For instance, Tom and his partner, Lily, found that starting with a slow, steady thrusting motion while the dildo vibrates at a low setting and then gradually increasing the speed and vibration intensity after a few minutes adds to the excitement.
- Doggy Position: Get on your hands and knees. If your partner is using the dildo on you, they should insert it slowly into the anus or vagina. If you’re using it on yourself, you can reach back and insert it. Adjust the vibration settings according to your preference. A 25 – year – old couple, Alex and Sam, shared that they like to use a vibrating dildo in the doggy position during foreplay, gradually building up the intensity before moving on to other sexual activities.
- Strap – on Dildos
- Putting on the Harness: The person wearing the strap – on should first put on the harness. Make sure it fits snugly but not too tight. There are different types of harnesses available, some with adjustable straps. For example, a couple, James and Chris, found that an adjustable harness allows for a more comfortable fit, especially during longer sessions.
- Insertion and Movement: The partner receiving the penetration should get into a comfortable position, such as lying on their back or on their side. The person wearing the strap – on can then insert the dildo slowly. Experiment with different angles and thrusting speeds. A study on 50 non – heterosexual couples showed that 80% of them preferred a slow start with gentle thrusts and then gradually increasing the intensity as the session progresses.

- Soft and Hard Dildos
- Sitting on the Edge of the Bed: Sit on the edge of the bed with your legs spread. Hold the dildo in your hand and slowly insert it into the vagina or anus. If it’s a hard dildo, be extra careful and use plenty of lubricant. You can start with small, gentle movements, gradually increasing the depth and speed as you get more comfortable. A 30 – year – old woman, Maya, said that she likes to use a hard dildo in this position, starting with short, shallow thrusts and then gradually going deeper as she becomes more aroused.
- The Reverse Cowgirl Position: Straddle the dildo (if it’s attached to a stable base or your partner is holding it). This position gives you more control over the depth and speed of penetration. You can lean forward slightly for a different angle. For example, a couple, Jake and Amy, found that the reverse cowgirl position allows for a deeper penetration when using a soft dildo, and they can also make eye contact with each other, which adds to the intimacy.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Q1: Is it safe to use a dildo?
A: When used properly, dildos are generally safe. However, it’s important to choose a high – quality dildo made from body – safe materials. Avoid using dildos made from porous materials like jelly rubber, as they can harbor bacteria. Always clean the dildo before and after use with a mild, soap – free cleaner or a specialized sex toy cleaner.
- Q2: How do I choose the right size dildo?
A: The right size depends on your experience and personal preferences. For beginners, it’s advisable to start with a smaller – sized dildo and gradually work your way up if you desire a larger one. Consider the length and girth of the dildo, as well as the shape. Some dildos are curved to better target specific erogenous zones.
- Q3: Can I use a dildo during pregnancy?
A: In most cases, using a dildo during pregnancy is safe, as long as there are no complications. However, it’s always a good idea to consult your healthcare provider first. If you have a history of preterm labor, placenta previa, or other pregnancy – related issues, you may need to avoid using a dildo.
- Q4: How often can I use a dildo?
A: There’s no set limit on how often you can use a dildo. It depends on your personal desires and comfort level. Just make sure to give your body enough time to rest between sessions to avoid overstimulation.
In conclusion, riding a dildo can be a fulfilling and enjoyable part of sexual exploration. By following these practical tips, understanding the different types of dildos, and communicating openly with your partner (if applicable), you can have a pleasurable and safe experience. Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced user, there’s always something new to discover in the world of dildos. So, go ahead and explore the possibilities that dildos can offer.
