Sex Therapists often recommend these three lesbian sex positions for enhancing intimacy and pleasure:
- Scissoring
- Oral sex positions (such as face-sitting and 69)
- Strap-on positions
You can adapt these positions for comfort and creativity. The table below highlights therapist insights on mutual pleasure and adaptability:
| Insight | Description |
|---|---|
| Mixing Positions | Changing one element, like lighting or position, increases creativity. |
| Spooning with Toys | Using toys in spooning boosts both penetration and clitoral stimulation. |
| Mutual Masturbation | Exploring each other’s bodies increases intimacy and shared enjoyment. |
Open communication and mutual consent create a safe and enjoyable experience for both partners.
Key Takeaways
- Explore scissoring for intense clitoral stimulation and emotional connection.
- Try oral sex positions like face-sitting and 69 for mutual pleasure and intimacy.
- Use strap-on positions to enhance connection and explore new experiences together.
- Communicate openly with your partner about comfort, desires, and boundaries.
- Incorporate props like pillows to improve comfort and support during positions.
- Experiment with different angles to discover new sources of pleasure.
- Create a cozy atmosphere to enhance relaxation and intimacy before sex.
- Regularly check in with your partner to ensure both feel valued and satisfied.
Scissoring
How To Scissor
Steps
Scissoring, also known as tribadism, involves both partners intertwining their legs to create direct genital contact. You can follow these steps to try this position:
- Lie down facing your partner.
- Both of you bend your knees and open your legs, aligning your vulvas together.
- Interlock your legs so that your thighs and pelvises press closely.
- Begin gentle rocking or grinding motions, adjusting your angle for maximum comfort and stimulation.
- Maintain eye contact or hold hands to increase intimacy.
Many couples find that experimenting with rhythm and pressure helps them discover what feels best. You can pause and adjust as needed to ensure both partners feel comfortable.
Variations
You can explore several variations to keep the experience fresh and enjoyable:
- Try side-by-side scissoring for a more relaxed approach.
- Use a pillow under your hips for better alignment.
- Experiment with different angles by shifting your legs or changing the height of your pelvis.
- Incorporate gentle touches to other erogenous zones, such as the breasts or thighs, for added pleasure.
Why Sex Therapists Recommend Scissoring
Clitoral Stimulation
Sex Therapists often recommend scissoring because it provides intense clitoral stimulation. The direct genital contact can lead to powerful physical sensations and increased enjoyment. Many women describe the experience as feeling like “fireworks” when both partners find the right rhythm and angle. Research shows that 90.8% of women who have sex with women have tried scissoring, highlighting its popularity and effectiveness.
Intimacy
Scissoring stands out as a unique sexual expression that allows you to celebrate your body and desires. The position fosters deep emotional connection, as you face your partner and share mutual pleasure. Many couples report that scissoring enhances their bond and creates a sense of unity during intimacy.
Note: Scissoring is not only about physical pleasure. It also offers a way to connect emotionally and explore each other’s desires in a safe, consensual environment.
Comfort & Enhancement Tips
Pillows & Props
You can use pillows or soft props to support your hips and lower back, making it easier to maintain the position. Some couples incorporate sex toys for additional stimulation. A table below summarizes techniques to enhance comfort and pleasure:
| Technique | Description |
|---|---|
| Use Lube | Lube increases comfort and allows for smoother movement. |
| Incorporate Toys | Pillows and toys can provide extra stimulation and support. |
| Explore Other Erogenous Zones | Touching other areas, such as breasts or thighs, can heighten pleasure. |
| Flexibility in Position | You can switch positions or take breaks to maintain comfort and excitement. |
Communication
Open communication remains essential for a positive experience. You should check in with your partner about comfort, pressure, and pace. Adjustments based on feedback help both of you enjoy the moment fully. Sex Therapists emphasize that discussing boundaries and desires before and during scissoring leads to greater satisfaction and trust.
Tip: Use clear, supportive language and nonverbal cues to guide each other. This approach ensures that both partners feel valued and respected throughout the experience.
Oral Sex Positions
Oral sex positions rank among the most popular choices for lesbian couples. These positions offer both pleasure and intimacy, with many couples reporting high satisfaction. The table below highlights the top five positions among homosexual women, based on recent surveys:
| Rank | Most Popular Positions |
|---|---|
| 1 | Oral |
| 2 | 69 |
| 3 | Missionary |
| 4 | Spooning |
| 5 | Scissoring |
Face-Sitting
Face-sitting allows you to take control and enjoy direct oral stimulation. This position also encourages eye contact and deep connection.
Steps
- Ask your partner to lie comfortably on their back.
- Position yourself above your partner’s face, either facing their head or feet.
- Gently lower yourself so your partner can access your vulva with their mouth and tongue.
- Use your knees or thighs to support your weight, keeping pressure off your partner’s chest.
- Adjust your position to find the most pleasurable angle and rhythm.
Adjustments
You can make face-sitting more comfortable and enjoyable by:
- Using a sturdy chair or a firm pillow to support your knees.
- Shifting your weight between your knees and thighs to avoid putting too much pressure on your partner.
- Establishing a hand signal or word for breaks, especially if you enjoy a more intense experience.
- Communicating openly about intensity and technique preferences.
Tip: Always check in with your partner before and during face-sitting. Clear communication ensures both of you feel safe and satisfied.
69 Position
The 69 position lets both partners give and receive oral pleasure at the same time. This position works well for couples who enjoy mutual stimulation.
Steps
- Lie down on your side or with one partner on top, aligning your bodies in opposite directions.
- Position your head near your partner’s pelvis, and vice versa.
- Begin oral stimulation, using your mouth and tongue to explore your partner’s vulva.
- Adjust your bodies as needed for comfort and access.
Comfort Tips
- Try the side-by-side version for less strain on your neck and back.
- Use pillows to support your hips or shoulders.
- Take breaks if needed, and communicate about what feels best.
- Modify the angle to accommodate different body types and preferences.
Why Sex Therapists Suggest Oral Positions
Accessibility
Oral sex positions, such as face-sitting and 69, provide easy access to the clitoris and other sensitive areas. You can adjust these positions to suit your body type and comfort level. Sitting or lying down often makes it easier to relax and enjoy prolonged pleasure.
Mutual Pleasure
Both positions encourage shared enjoyment and intimacy. You and your partner can explore each other’s bodies, building trust and connection. Sex Therapists often recommend these positions because they foster communication and adaptability, helping couples discover new ways to experience pleasure together.
Note: Open dialogue and willingness to adjust positions will help you maximize comfort and satisfaction during oral sex.
Strap-On Positions
Strap-on positions offer lesbian couples a wide range of options for pleasure, connection, and exploration. Sex Therapists often recommend these positions for their adaptability and ability to foster both physical and emotional intimacy. Recent studies show a 25% increase in strap-on usage among couples over the past five years, with 72% of participants reporting greater confidence and self-esteem after incorporating strap-ons into their sex lives.
Here are some of the most recommended strap-on positions:
- All Fours (Doggy Style)
- Deep Impact
- Lap Dance
- Missionary (With a Strap-On)
- Spooning
- Jockey (Doggy Style Variation)
Missionary With Strap-On
The missionary position with a strap-on allows you to maintain eye contact and share emotional connection. This classic position also gives you the chance to experiment with the Coital Alignment Technique for enhanced clitoral stimulation.
Steps
- Have your partner lie on their back, knees bent or legs resting on your shoulders.
- Position yourself between their legs, aligning the strap-on for comfortable penetration.
- Start with slow, gentle thrusts, checking in with your partner about comfort and depth.
- Use pillows under your partner’s hips to adjust the angle and increase pleasure.
- Maintain communication throughout, using a safe word if needed.
Tip: Start slowly and gently to ensure both of you feel comfortable. Use pillows or supports to adjust for body type or mobility needs.
Toy Selection
Choose a harness and dildo that fit securely and comfortably. Select a size and shape that matches your partner’s preferences. Many couples prefer softer, body-safe materials for a more natural feel. Always use a condom on the toy and clean it thoroughly before and after use.
| Factor | Recommendation |
|---|---|
| Harness Fit | Adjustable straps for stability |
| Dildo Material | Body-safe silicone |
| Size & Shape | Start small, increase as comfort grows |
| Condom Use | Always use for hygiene and safety |
Doggy Style With Strap-On
Doggy style, or “all fours,” is a favorite for deep penetration and control. This position allows the receiving partner to kneel on hands and knees while the giving partner kneels behind.
Steps
- Ask your partner to get on all fours, keeping their back straight and hips raised.
- Kneel behind them, guiding the strap-on into position.
- Use your hands to support your partner’s hips or thighs.
- Begin with gentle thrusts, adjusting speed and depth based on feedback.
- Incorporate a doggy style strap for better positioning and reduced strain.
Adjustments
- Use a doggy style strap to maintain alignment and reduce muscle fatigue.
- Adjust the angle by lifting your partner’s pelvis with a pillow for deeper penetration.
- The strap allows you to pull your partner closer, improving intimacy and control.
- This setup relieves stress on the lower back and hips, making it ideal for those with mobility or stamina concerns.
Note: Adjustable buckles and handles on the strap provide full control over thrusting, maximizing pleasure for both partners.
Sex Therapists’ Advice On Strap-Ons
Communication
Open, honest communication is essential for a positive strap-on experience. Express your desires respectfully using “I” statements. Create a “Yes, No, Maybe” list to discuss interests and boundaries. Listen actively to your partner’s feelings and preferences. Establish a safe word to signal when to pause or adjust activities.
Safety & Hygiene
“It’s safe,” Roos assures PRIDE, adding, “but requires good hygiene routines, and that you wear a condom on the strap-on every time you use it.” Good hygiene, she explains, means not only using a condom but both washing it carefully after use and again before you use it with a new partner. “if not doing it right away you’ll have a growth of bacteria on the material that can be tricky to get rid of,” she says.
“…transparency, and consent are essential if you intend to use the same strap-on with someone new. They should be made aware that you use your toys with other partners too so that they can make an informed decision and give consent.”
“Make sure to clean it properly before using it with someone new, especially the O-Ring where you connect the strap-on with the harness since this part has been in most contact with bodily fluids!”
Real-Life Example
A couple, Maya and Jess, decided to try strap-on play after discussing their boundaries and interests using a “Yes, No, Maybe” list. They started with missionary position, using a small, body-safe dildo and plenty of lube. Maya appreciated the eye contact and emotional connection, while Jess felt empowered by taking the lead. They communicated throughout, using a safe word and adjusting positions for comfort. Afterward, they cleaned the toy together, reinforcing trust and safety in their relationship.
| Statistic | Value |
|---|---|
| Increase in Strap-On Usage | 25% (5 years) |
| Reported Confidence Boost | 72% |
Sex Therapists’ Tips For Lesbian Sex
Communication & Consent
Clear communication and mutual consent form the foundation of a satisfying sexual relationship. Sex Therapists recommend that you approach every intimate experience with openness and respect. You can use these practical steps to improve your connection and ensure both partners feel valued:
- Set the right atmosphere. Create a safe, non-judgmental space where you both feel comfortable sharing.
- Practice active listening. Focus on your partner and acknowledge their feelings.
- Use “I” statements. Express your needs and desires without placing blame.
- Be honest and open. Share your true feelings to build trust.
- Normalize discussions about sex. Make talking about intimacy a regular part of your relationship.
- Discuss boundaries and consent. Confirm that both of you agree on what activities feel comfortable.
Tip: Many couples find that regular check-ins before, during, and after sex help maintain trust and satisfaction.
A recent survey found that couples who discuss boundaries and desires at least once a week report a 30% higher satisfaction rate in their sex lives.
| Practice | Reported Satisfaction Increase |
|---|---|
| Weekly Communication | 30% |
| Active Listening | 25% |
| Consent Discussions | 28% |
Using Props & Furniture
Props and furniture can transform your sexual experiences by adding comfort and variety. You might use pillows to support your hips or back, which can help you maintain positions longer and reduce strain. Some couples enjoy experimenting with sturdy chairs or soft blankets to create new sensations and settings.
Consider this example:
A couple, Sam and Riley, wanted to try face-sitting but found it uncomfortable on the bed. They placed a firm pillow under Riley’s knees and used a sturdy chair for Sam. This adjustment allowed both partners to relax and focus on pleasure, turning a challenging position into a favorite.
Note: Always check that any furniture or props you use are safe and stable. Prioritize comfort and safety to prevent injuries.
Experimenting With Angles
Exploring different angles can help you discover new sources of pleasure. You can experiment with toys, such as a double-ended dildo or a shared vibrator, to enhance stimulation. In the cowgirl position, bending forward or placing pillows under your knees can change the angle and increase comfort. Adjusting the angle of penetration in doggy style or using pillows under the hips can also make the experience more pleasurable.
- Try using a pillow under your hips during missionary or doggy style for deeper penetration.
- Shift your body or your partner’s legs to find the most comfortable and stimulating angle.
- Use toys to explore sensations that might not be possible with body positioning alone.
Sex Therapists encourage you to approach experimentation with curiosity and patience. Small adjustments often lead to big improvements in comfort and satisfaction.
| Position | Angle Adjustment | Reported Comfort Increase |
|---|---|---|
| Cowgirl | Bend forward, use pillows | 22% |
| Doggy Style | Pillow under hips | 18% |
| Missionary | Legs elevated, pillow support | 20% |
By combining open communication, creative use of props, and a willingness to experiment with angles, you can enhance both comfort and pleasure in your sex life.
Talking To Your Partner
Starting The Conversation
Opening up about your sexual preferences and needs can feel daunting, but you can create a supportive environment by approaching the topic with care and intention. Many couples benefit from establishing a regular ritual for these discussions. For example, you might set aside time each week to talk about your sex life, which helps normalize the conversation and reduces anxiety.
Here are some therapist-recommended steps to start the conversation:
- Set a specific time to talk about intimacy, free from distractions.
- Begin with what you enjoy about your current sex life.
- Share any insecurities or nervousness you feel about discussing new topics.
- Highlight moments that felt especially good or meaningful.
- Take turns sharing fantasies or ideas you would like to explore.
- Emphasize the importance of consent and respect for boundaries.
- Discuss how you prefer to initiate or decline sex.
- Use conversation tools or prompts to guide your discussion.
- Communicate during sex about what feels good.
- Explore new experiences together, such as shopping for sexual wellness items.
Tip: Use “I” statements to express your feelings and desires. For example, say “I feel excited when we try new things” instead of “You never want to try anything new.”
A couple, Taylor and Morgan, decided to talk about their desires every Sunday evening. They started by sharing what they appreciated about each other, then discussed new things they wanted to try. This ritual helped them feel more connected and less anxious about bringing up sensitive topics.
Sharing Desires & Boundaries
Healthy communication forms the backbone of a successful relationship. You should aim for transparency when discussing your desires and boundaries. Regularly making time to talk about your feelings, thoughts, and concerns prevents misunderstandings and builds trust.
- Share your emotional, physical, and sexual needs openly.
- Create a safe space where both of you can speak without fear of judgment.
- Stay curious about each other’s evolving preferences.
- Keep the conversation positive and affirming.
A helpful approach involves asking open-ended questions, such as, “What would make you feel more comfortable during sex?” or “Are there any activities you want to try or avoid?” This method encourages honest dialogue and mutual respect.
| Communication Practice | Benefit |
|---|---|
| Regular check-ins | Prevents misunderstandings |
| Safe, non-judgmental space | Encourages openness |
| Affirming language | Builds confidence and comfort |
Building Trust
Trust grows through empathy, active listening, and patience. You can foster trust by showing genuine interest in your partner’s feelings and experiences. Practice active listening by reflecting back what you hear and validating your partner’s emotions.
- Cultivate empathy by imagining how your partner feels.
- Address conflicts productively, focusing on solutions rather than blame.
- Set realistic expectations and recognize that building trust takes time.
Note: When you approach disagreements with compassion and patience, you strengthen your emotional bond and create a foundation for deeper intimacy.
Consider the example of Alex and Jamie. When they faced a disagreement about trying a new position, they paused to listen to each other’s concerns. By acknowledging each other’s feelings and working together on a solution, they built greater trust and confidence in their relationship.
A table below summarizes key strategies for building trust:
| Strategy | How It Helps |
|---|---|
| Empathy & Active Listening | Reduces misunderstandings |
| Productive Conflict Resolution | Preserves emotional bonds |
| Realistic Expectations | Encourages gradual growth |
By prioritizing open dialogue, sharing your needs, and nurturing trust, you lay the groundwork for a fulfilling and connected sexual relationship.
Enhancing Comfort & Enjoyment
Setting The Mood
You set the stage for a positive sexual experience by creating a comfortable and inviting environment. Sex therapists recommend that you focus on both physical and emotional comfort. A well-prepared space helps you and your partner relax and connect.
- Create a private, cozy space where you both feel safe.
- Use candles, soft lighting, or essential oils to enhance the atmosphere.
- Play gentle music to set a soothing tone.
- Spend quality time together before intimacy to build emotional closeness.
A couple, Jordan and Casey, found that dimming the lights and playing their favorite playlist helped them unwind after a busy day. They spent time talking and laughing before moving to the bedroom. This ritual made their intimate moments feel more special and less rushed.
Tip: Small changes in your environment can have a big impact on your comfort and enjoyment.
Checking In
Checking in with your partner during intimacy ensures that both of you feel respected and satisfied. Open communication helps you understand each other’s boundaries and preferences.
- Use a Yes/No/Maybe list to clarify which activities excite you, which you might try, and which you want to avoid.
- Discuss boundaries by rating activities as green (definitely try), yellow (might try), or red (definitely not try).
- Take time apart to reflect on your comfort levels, then come together to share your thoughts.
A practical approach involves sitting in separate rooms to write down your feelings about different sexual activities. When you regroup, you can discuss your lists openly. This method often leads to deeper understanding and trust.
| Check-In Method | Benefit |
|---|---|
| Yes/No/Maybe List | Clarifies preferences |
| Green/Yellow/Red Scale | Encourages honest communication |
| Private Reflection | Fosters deeper intimacy |
Regular check-ins help you adapt to each other’s evolving needs and keep your connection strong.
Embracing Playfulness
Playfulness brings excitement and creativity to your sex life. Sex therapists highlight the importance of vulnerability and open-mindedness when exploring new experiences.
- Communicate openly during role-play to ensure both partners feel safe and respected.
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Sharing your true desires and fears can deepen emotional intimacy.
- Explore different personas or fantasies together in a supportive environment.
- Discuss erotic desires to build anticipation and excitement.
- Share fantasies to inspire creative and fulfilling experiences.
For example, Alex and Taylor decided to try role-play after discussing their boundaries and comfort levels. They started with simple scenarios and checked in frequently. This playful approach helped them laugh together, reduce anxiety, and discover new sources of pleasure.
Note: Embracing playfulness does not mean you must act silly. It means you give yourself permission to experiment, make mistakes, and enjoy the journey together.
By setting the mood, checking in, and embracing playfulness, you create a foundation for comfort, trust, and lasting enjoyment in your intimate life.
You now know the three best lesbian sex positions—scissoring, oral sex positions, and strap-on positions. Each offers unique ways to boost pleasure, comfort, and connection. When you explore new positions, you open doors to honest conversations about desires and boundaries.
- Trying new experiences together can strengthen emotional ties and add excitement.
- Mutual exploration builds trust and helps both partners feel valued.
Prioritize open communication and consent. By exploring together, you can deepen intimacy and enrich your relationship.
FAQ
What if a position feels uncomfortable or awkward?
You should pause and communicate with your partner. Adjust your angle, use pillows, or switch positions. Comfort matters most. Never force yourself to continue if you feel pain or discomfort.
How do you talk to your partner about trying new positions?
Start with a positive comment about your intimacy. Express curiosity and ask what your partner would like to try. Use open-ended questions. Respect boundaries and listen actively.
Are sex toys necessary for lesbian sex positions?
Sex toys are optional. You can enjoy all recommended positions without them. Toys can enhance pleasure and variety, but your comfort and connection matter most.
How do you keep things safe and hygienic with strap-ons or toys?
Always clean toys before and after use. Use condoms on shared toys. Store them in a clean, dry place. Communicate with your partner about hygiene routines.
What if you or your partner feel nervous about trying something new?
Acknowledge your feelings and talk openly. Start slowly and check in often. Focus on trust and mutual enjoyment. You can stop or change activities at any time.
Can these positions work for all body types and abilities?
Most positions can be adapted. Use pillows, props, or furniture for support. Adjust angles and pace to fit your needs. Communication helps you find what works best for both of you.
How do you know if your partner enjoys a position?
Watch for nonverbal cues like moans, smiles, or relaxed body language. Ask simple questions such as, “Does this feel good?” or “Would you like to try something different?” Stay attentive and responsive.
Is it normal to laugh or feel awkward during sex?
Yes, it is normal. Laughter can ease tension and build intimacy. Embrace playfulness and remember that sex does not have to be perfect. Focus on connection and enjoyment.